You're Not Alone: Postpartum Through My Eyes and Yours
- jeannepichoff
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
-by Ciara LaVergne, Student of Hanover College Doctor of Occupational Therapy Program
When I gave birth to my son, now age 2, the postpartum experience took me by surprise.
I had my son in July of 2023 and despite my preparation and expectations, I was floored to discover that I felt disconnected during the postpartum experience and overwhelmed. There weren’t clear instructions or resources for the questions I was having. I was unsure of how to explain to providers the questions I was having, but to be honest I did not really want to talk about it either.
While I had a great support system at home, I couldn’t help but still feel alone in my thoughts and feelings. At the time I was convinced that no one else could relate to how I was feeling. I finally decided to bring up my struggles to medical providers, but even then, I felt the whole experience was quickly brushed off.
Eventually the postpartum fog and anxiety did clear…but I often wonder if my postpartum experience could have been different if I took different actions.
Then the day came when it was time for me to pick a capstone project for my Occupational Therapy program. I began to wonder if other mothers had the same experiences and wondered how I could begin to fulfill the gaps in maternal mental health. I thought to myself “I am in a program that focuses on daily life, function, and balance – what would I have needed as new mom?” How could I help other moms like me, who felt a bit lost and confused in a healthcare system and culture that isn’t very friendly to new mothers?
Fast forward a bit to now, where I’m now fulfilling my doctoral capstone project at Flourish Pediatric Therapy and Lactation. Throughout my time observing at Flourish, I have witnessed first-hand of how unique postpartum is and how challenging it can be mothers. I have seen women come into Flourish with breastfeeding struggles, bottle feeding issues, comments of feeling unheard by their providers, stress over returning to work and so much more repeatedly. I have seen how common it is to feel uncertain and overwhelmed during postpartum, although in reality, it shouldn’t be as common as it is. But even with saying that the real question comes – “How do we fix this?”
I knew I wanted to with a focus my project on maternal mental health and helping moms find balance in their lives. To do this I knew I need to hear from moms about their postpartum experience and their life transitions, so I created a survey for postpartum mothers.
(See FULL breakdown of results here: https://jeannepichoff.podia.com/view/courses/promoting-function-and-occupational-balance-an-ot-centered-educational-intervention-for-postpartum-mothers).
50 mothers responded, with children aged 1 week to 16 years, new time moms and “experienced ones”, to answer a series of questions about the realities of their postpartum experiences.
The following are a few highlights of responses from moms on the good, the hard, and everything in between moments of postpartum. Their answers highlight what’s improving, what still needs work, and what support they wish they had during pregnancy and postpartum. Some of their answers were heartbreaking to read.
On the adjustment to motherhood:
“Sometimes it’s overwhelming thinking about how I’m going to get everything done after work that needs to be done while not being so regimental and rushing my children.”
“Incredibly overwhelming. There wasn't enough time for me to take care of the baby, house, spouse, pets and then work.”
On finding time for basic self care:
“Struggling to find time for self-care beyond basic showering”
“I have virtually no time to myself.”
“I'm constantly up and down during meals tending to their needs so don’t usually get to eat my full meal, at least not hot.”
On returning to work:
“It’s like I never stop working. I work for the company then go home just to feed, change, bathe and play with my baby then also cook dinner, find time to shower, laundry, dishes, sweep, take care of dogs, etc.
“I wish that maternity leave did not end so harshly. I wish that mothers were able to gradually return to work and that it is not an option, rather a requirement that employers must adhere to. This is something that is talked about a lot but I strongly believe it would aid many mothers. The adjustment to returning to work is one of the most difficult things I have had to put myself through.”
On the mental health toll:
“My mental health has taken the biggest hit. I’m sure the lack of full sleep makes me more on edge but my anxiety has skyrocketed as well. I not only have anxiety about myself but now about two other little humans too.”
“Anxiety/ mom guilt. Feeling like what I’m doing is not enough.”
“Physical or mental health during this period? Physically I am in the worst health state I have ever been and constantly feel defeated.”
“I am a completely different person, and now someone’s mom, it’s sometimes a struggle to learn about this new me.”
“It is very difficult to step away even though your mind screams for a break. There are many moments where I have a chance to step away and take care of myself, but I feel guilty for doing so or I feel like I have to be the one to do the task that the baby needs.”
On the changed dynamic in relationships and the mental load:
“Struggling with getting my partner to understand the mental load I face every day with being the primary parent. We both work but since he’s the breadwinner it’s like my emotions get put on the back burner.”
On what mothers wish they had access to:
“I desperately wish I would have had more support for nursing in the beginning”
“There is a horrific care-gap between antepartum and postpartum. No one checks on the mom.”
“Something that I would want this time that I didn’t know about with my first is resources pertaining to physical health including pelvic floor therapy and exercises.”
The results of this survey highlight the diversity and complexity of postpartum experiences. From navigating emotional shifts to adjusting to the new rhythms of motherhood, every mother’s journey is unique. The postpartum period can feel isolating, but every mother faces similar challenges. Many mothers struggle to find balance, manage expectations, and care for themselves while caring for others.
You are not alone in this. By seeking support, connecting with others, and prioritizing your well-being, you can navigate postpartum life with more confidence and ease.
For a few helpful resources, more here:
By listening to and supporting mothers, we can build systems that support every stage of motherhood - and every mother’s voice.
-Ciara LaVergne, Student of Hanover College Doctor of Occupational Therapy Program
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